How to praise and scold children

Often, I give high praises to children. Children grow up by receiving praises. I give them big compliments when they are in high spirits or when they show better “Waza” whether it is a block, a thrust, or a kick. Children perform better when they are complimented twice as much as being scolded. When they are complimented, they become happy, energetic, and express their motivation by their entire body. However, if I ever find them slacking or giving trouble to others, I make sure I straighten them out right at the moment. I have them sit on their knees, “Seiza,” scold them with low voice. Usually, yelling with a loud voice to children is ineffective. They may listen for the moment, but the voice may not reach to their heart. The whole intention of scolding is to have them understand and acknowledge the circumstances. On the other hand, when you talk to them with a low voice, they recognize the seriousness and listen with all their ears and try to understand the best they can. When I look into their eyes, they sense the seriousness, and become silent no matter how much they are acting up. My words soak into their head thoroughly when they are ready to listen. Ultimately, this “praising and scolding” encourage them to rain harder.

Communication plays a huge role in handling children. A teacher must accept them amenably and respond to their request as much as possible. I do not believe spoon-feeding children with “Waza,” or techniques will make them grow. I believe that we can only win their hearts by playing catch with them; such as throwing something at them and receiving something back from them. They teach us a lot of things as well. They reach out and try to tell us many things without saying a word. They let us know when they need to be praised or scolded.

To gain understanding of each child, I often play with them. Sometimes, I wrestle with them too see what is in their mind. Each children trying to take me out with all their might have different thoughts in mind. Some children without a father show loneliness. Some who are constantly scolded by a mother are full of stress. Those who have been raised with lots of love are rather wimpy. When we can understand what’s in their mind, we must respond to them in an appropriate manner. I believe that this is my role as a teacher. We must to give more attention to lonely children and keep a tight hand on those wimpy children who have been given too much affection. When I praise them, I do so in a loud voice in front of everybody. This is more rewarding for the children and sets good examples for the others. When I scold them, I speak gently explaining the reason why they are being scolded. There are times, I put my fist on their heads or sweep them (of course nothing violent). No matter how much they may be disciplined, they always come back to me. I must say, I adore my children.

When you show affection to children, you can connect with them, and they respond to you in the same way. A Japanese poet, Harigaya Sekiun wrote, “Spring rain, though it falls equally on all plants, the plants that receive rain all grow differently”. Even though I teach all children the same way, they grow up differently.  Some get better very quickly, and some learn slowly at a tortoise-like pace even though they may be diligent and may not have missed a lesson in years.  Nonetheless, it is certain that every child is making steady improvements.  So far, there have been over 100 children who achieved black belts.  There are also tens of children who will certainly be achieving black belts at their next examination.  The real objective is not to win black belts, but I think it is fine for children to have humble desire like this.  It gives me great joy to see generous-hearted children saying “congratulations” to those who won black belts and not be jealous with them but be so sincere.